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Feeling Discouraged - Welcome Aboard!

© Cathy Goodwin

Q. I've been exploring a new career for over six months. I thought the search would be over my now. I'm so discouraged!

A. Whether you're seeking a new career, a job or a way to grow your business, discouragement goes with the territory.

Feeling discouraged isn't a signal to quit. Instead, it's a way to realize you're finally embarked on your journey.

By way of analogy, I have a friend who's an avid bird-watcher. When he comes to visit, we end up trudging through prickly bushes, scratching mosquito bites, feeling hot and sore, and occasionally seeing a patch of wing disappear behind a tree.

He loves it.

When you go hiking, these discomforts form part of your experience. Unpleasant but not unexpected.

And when you begin a new venture or start a big project, discouragement happens, just like mosquitoes.

1. Decide if you really want to be here.

Frankly, except when my friend comes to visit, I'm more of an urban person. My idea of hiking is a stroll down Fifth Avenue or a trek through an art museum.

But if you're fixed on a goal - whether it's solo-preneurship or spotting a speckled something-or-other - you'll need to accept whatever comes along the journey.

2. Skip the wild goose chases.

Some woodland areas will reward our persistence with dozens of species of beautiful birds. And some career and business paths are more likely to lead to pleasure and profit.

If you're beginning to wonder which path you're on, consult a guide. Do some research. And consider taking a new bend in the road - without straying too far from your first commitment. Your new route may indeed make more sense and, if not, just come back and try again.

3. Keep quiet about your fears - while you're on the road.

When I'm accompanying my friend on one of those trips involving grass, trees, and bugs, I make sure to stay positive. After all, I could have stayed home! Anyway, outdoor types are rarely sympathetic to "ooh," "ouch," and similar expressions of pain.

And I strongly recommend keeping silent when you get discouraged. Share only with a trusted friend you've known for years. Or (you knew this was coming) hire a guide who will keep your fears confidential and give you a realistic perspective.

4. Run - fast and far - when you encounter nay-sayers and wet blankets.

When you admit you feel discouraged, they'll come out of the woodwork.

"Most people fail." "You'll never find a rental place where dogs are welcome." "You'll go broke." "You'll get sick." "You'll fall and get hurt."

They're not helping! Instead...

5. Conduct your own research and learn how to enjoy the journey.

I've learned a lot about hiking through woods (defined as any place with more than 5 trees), although I'll never be mistaken for an experienced outdoor person.

When you get discouraged, think information, not consolation. Have others experienced challenges when trying to reach this market? Are there really no places to buy or rent - or did you manage to attract the worst real estate service in town? Do 90% of all businesses fail - or do 90% of all people who start any kind of business (including lemonade stands) fail at least once?

Keep the Rule of Six: Talk to at least six independent people who are thoroughly familiar with your situation - and maybe resemble you, too.

Bottom Line: Once you get through discouragement, you can find yourself stronger, more confident - and enjoying a whole new perspective.

I must admit I feel great at the end of every long, hot hike. We always see some scarlet or blue or green flash of wings - and each time I get a little more comfortable in the jungle. ***********************************************

Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D., helps midlife professionals create small, medium and huge career changes, start a business or start over.
Free Report: Ten secrets of managing a major life change. mailto:subscribe@cathygoodwin.com
Contact cathy@cathygoodwin.com or call 505-534-4294