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Lessons in Forgiveness

by Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur

I never expected that I would need to seek forgiveness from my children. After all, I am the adult in this relationship (at least for the time being!). I always thought that the offenses would come primarily from their direction. I expect them to say that they are sorry when they hurt each other or hurt me; generally they do, admittedly with varying levels of remorse. But I find myself needing to say "I'm sorry" much more than I ever thought I would. There are the small "I'm sorry's" for any of a number of small slights - forgetting that they don't like a certain food and putting it on their plate anyway, dressing them in a different outfit than the one that I promised that they could wear, handing one of them his brother's cup, accidentally bumping into them, and the list goes on.

Then, there are the big "I'm sorry's" when I am truly in the wrong. Thankfully, these moments have been few and far between, but they have been there none-the-less. These are the moments when my temper gets the best of me, when my frustration and anger have been pushed to their limits and instead of walking away and composing myself as I should, I lash out.

Almost instantly I feel horribly sorry. These are my children and more importantly God's children. They deserve to be treated with kindness and respect, even when they need to be disciplined. I take them in my arms, tell them I am sorry and ask them to forgive me. Thankfully, they always have, leaving me to ponder my temporary failure, ask forgiveness from God, and pledge to do better the next day. After all, this isn't a relationship I can walk away from, nor would I ever want to. Wounds inflicted must be healed. Reparations must be made.

Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.

I'm sorry. Can you forgive me? What powerful words.

Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur is editor of The Spiritual Woman Newsletter