The Power of Patience

The Power of Patience

by M.J. Ryan
New York: Broadway Books, 2003

Reviewed by Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur

Patience is a virtue that we could all use more of. In our hurried world, it seems that no one has the time for patience. We want what we want and we want it now! M.J. Ryan, who freely admits that she suffers from "hurry sickness" (otherwise known as impatience), has written a wonderful book on the reasons we should be more patient and offers concrete ways to develop this quality in ourselves.

The Power of Patience begins with the positive changes that will happen in our lives if we work on increasing our patience. We will have greater peace, even when life doesn't go our way, because we will accept what is instead of wishing it to be different. We will be better equipped to work toward our goals and dreams because we will be more willing to work long and hard to get where we want to be. Our decision-making skills will improve because we will be less likely to act out of fear and will take the time to make rational, informed choices. Learning to maintain a more patient attitude is wonderful for our health, eliminating the anger and stress that losing our patience can cause. Having patience can also help our interpersonal relationships as well. Getting along with spouses, children, parents, and co-workers is much easier when we bear with their and our own faults with understanding and tolerance.

Ryan emphasizes that patience is a decision, a decision that we get to make over and over again. If we lose our patience in a given situation, we can always trust that there will be another chance to make the decision for patience. The first step to gaining more patience is to discover what our own personal triggers are. What events cause us to lose our patience? Is there a sign - a thought that goes through our head, or a biological feature such as a racing heartbeat - that occurs immediately before we lose our cool? By becoming aware of these triggers and the moments immediately before we become impatient, we give ourselves the opportunity to make a decision for patience, to change our thought process.

Ryan offers many ways to work toward becoming a more patient person. One way is to realize that life isn't always about us. Impatience often occurs when we feel life isn't going the way we would like it to. Being willing to wait for good things to come our way and acknowledging that life is really not out to get us can help add some perspective and create a more patient attitude. Another way to become more patient is to live in the present moment. When we become impatient, it is often because we are worrying about something that has happened, or something that we fear might happen. By concentrating on the present, we can alleviate some of that stress and worry.

The Power of Patience is well-worth reading. Ryan speaks as one who has been there and is struggling right along with us. It is uplifting and inspirational, providing hope for all of us who sometimes find ourselves lacking in patience.

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