Spiritual Woman

Full of Grace: Miraculous Stories of Healing and Conversion Through Mary’s Intercession

by Christine Watkins
Notre Dame, IN: Ave Maria Press, 2010

Christine Watkins grew up without religion and without a belief in God. Her parents had told her that Jesus was a fairytale and that when you died you became part of the dirt and helped nourish plants. As an adult, she searched in vain for some shred of hope and direction. She explored all sorts of New Age practices and followed the advice of a psychic that led her nowhere. Meanwhile, her promiscuous lifestyle had ravaged her body, leaving her afflicted with cervical cancer. It was at this point that God intervened in her life. Her friend Joseph reached out to her, helped her to pray, and taught her about God. Jesus even cured her of cancer. She completely reformed her life. She earned Master of Theological Studies and Master of Social Welfare degrees and became a spiritual director, bereavement counselor, inspirational speaker and retreat leader. She also developed a deep relationship with Mary as a result of a pilgrimage to Medjugorje.

In “Full of Grace: Miraculous Stories of Healing and Conversion through Mary’s Intercession,” Watkins shares her own and five other incredible stories of lives transformed by God and the miracle of Mary’s apparitions at Medjugorje. While the apparitions at Medjugorje have not been formally endorsed by the Church (and indeed can’t be until they are completed), they meet all the criteria for an authentic apparition. Many Bishops have visited there and Pope John Paul II stated that “Medjugorje is hope for the entire world. And if I were not Pope, I would have been in Medjugorje a long time ago.”

“Full of Grace” is not for the faint of heart. The subject matter includes children dying in the sewers of Columbia, drug abuse, and strippers. The stories, however, have the power to change lives. They show the ability of God to work in the midst of the most horrible situations. As Watkins states, “In telling their stories, these ordinary people opened the door to their extraordinary lives – to a view more fantastic than fiction – and showed how God lifted them into his loving arms, often out of a living hell, and raised them up to the heights.” Each of the stories is followed by questions and a faith exercise, useful for personal reflection or in a book or prayer group.

I can remember being a child and dreading Palm Sunday and Good Friday. The story of the Lord’s Passion made me sick, literally. I certainly did not want to exclaim “Crucify Him!” with the crowd. I did not want to have any part of having Jesus die on the cross. Yet, I knew it was necessary. In order to get to Easter, you had to get through the painful stuff first. Jesus on the cross is a central part of Christianity. Yes, the Resurrection matters more. Easter is the crucial event – the fact that Jesus conquered death and opened the doors of heaven for us. But, the cross comes first. Good Friday comes first.

I’ve taught my own children about the Stations of the Cross since they were about 3 or 4 years old. They have known that Jesus died for us, for them. Our Church has a huge crucifix hanging over the altar. We have crucifixes in our home. I always felt that they should know who that man is hanging on the cross, what the crucifixion meant. Without understanding that, they can’t truly understand what it means to be Christian.

This year, I am teaching Pre-K through 1st grade religious education. For the season of Lent, I found some coloring sheets of the Stations of the Cross. We are doing three each week. Over the course of Lent, the children will get the full story. It seemed an appropriate thing to do, a simple way to introduce them to the story of Christ dying for us. Several of the children already knew about the Stations and were excited about having the full set of pictures. Therefore, I was very surprised when a mother of a child in my class informed me she was pulling her child from my class because I was teaching about them. She said that she felt that they were too graphic for young children.

Of course, she has the right to pull her child from my class. A parent always has the right to decide about the education of her child. I told her I was sorry that she felt that way, but I did not apologize for teaching this crucial part of our faith. Nor did I change my lesson plan for this week’s class. I discussed the matter with my religious education coordinator. Thankfully, she backed me up and said that what I was doing entirely appropriate. As she stated, “Easter is not about the Easter bunny!” This is so very true.

The Stations of the Cross are not pretty or comforting. They are not meant to be. They tell a horrible story of suffering, of a cruel, undeserved death. If that was all there was to the story, it certainly wouldn’t be appropriate to share with young children. But it is not the end of the story. Easter is coming! Jesus suffered, died and rose for all of us. That includes young children. They deserve to know the truth.

In Bible Study this week, we were studying the parable of the talents (Matthew 25:14-29). Before going away on a long journey, a master calls in three servants. To one he gives five talents; to another, two; to a third, one – to each according to his ability. Much later, the master returns and asks for an accounting. The one with five has managed to accrue ten. The one with two now has four, but the one with only one had gone and buried his talent. Therefore, it didn’t grow and he only had one to give to his master upon his return. The master was very pleased with the first two servants who had utilized their gifts and made more. The third servant he treated with contempt: “You wicked, lazy servant!” The master then took that one talent from him and gave it to the one who had ten.

The point of this parable is pretty obvious. Even a child would tell you that it means we are supposed to use the gifts that God gives us. He will hold us accountable for what we do with them. It seems rather straightforward. Use our gifts well and they will multiply. Ignore them and they will stagnate. What happens when this doesn’t go according to plan, however?

As one of my friends pointed out, the story needs a fourth servant. The fourth servant is given his talents and he (or in our case, she) goes out and tries to do all she can with her talents. And she fails, repeatedly. Nothing multiplies. Every effort comes up short. In an economic comparison, she invests all she has in the stock market and the stock market has crashed. When the master returns, she has little to show for her efforts, except a bucketload of tears of frustration. As my friend said this. I nodded enthusiastically. Yes, this is where I fall in this parable. I imagine many other people feel this way as well.

Sometimes, life is so hard. We pray to do God’s will and try to do it, and yet we seem to come up empty. The conventional wisdom is that if you are failing, you aren’t doing what God wants you to do – that if you are doing God’s will, you will meet with success. But what if you believe you actually are doing what God wants you to do? Where do we fall in the parable? We are not the servant who buried his gifts. We tried all we could. Did the servants who doubled their talents actually struggle in the process? Did they fall down repeatedly before achieving success? Does the parable just not tell that side of the story? That thought gives me some hope.

Our parable isn’t done being written yet. Maybe God has some plan we just can’t see. Maybe our work, our talents, is bearing some fruit we are unaware of. Maybe we are right where we are supposed to be. All we can do is keep trying. If we are truly doing God’s will, then we are where we belong. I am reminded of Mother Teresa’s statement: “We are not called to be successful, only faithful.” We are the fourth servant. I have to believe the Master will reward us in the end.

Alphatudes: The Alphabet of Gratitude
by Michele Wahlder
Dallas, TX: Life Possibilities Publishing, 2010

Gratitude is indeed the secret of happiness. Appreciating what one has makes the whole world seem brighter. In “Alphatudes: The Alphabet of Gratitude” Michele Wahlder offers a unique way to count one’s blessings. Suffering from insomnia night after night, she decided to try something other than counting sheep. She began to count her blessings, using the alphabet as a guide. Sleep was the much-appreciated reward. Wahlder began to integrate this in her life on a regular basis and found that it allowed her to “clear her mind and process the events of the day in a positive way.” She then began to share this idea with others and discovered benefits for them as well. Thus, “Alphatudes” was born.

This book is a delight to both look at and read. The design is beautiful. Each letter and its corresponding “Alphatude” are illustrated in an inviting two-page spread. Gifts such as acceptance, beauty, dreams, hope, kindness, laughter, quiet, relationships, touch, and work are explored and praised. Wahlder has incorporated quotes from wise individuals from various faith traditions and walks of life to help inspire those who turn these pages. One of my favorite sections was the one on “Hope.” Wahlder writes, “All great accomplishments begin as a tiny seed of hope. . . Hope is reduced to wishful thinking only when not accompanied by intentional action. We need to remember that prayer is one such intentional action.”

Wahlder has also included some things one might not consider being grateful for. Take “Obstacles,” for example: “Obstacles energize us to stretch beyond our routine way of thinking and encourage us to try on an unfamiliar behavior or skill. During the process, we improve upon our perceived weaknesses and turn them into unanticipated strengths. By expressing gratitude for the obstacles in our lives, we uncover our hidden treasures and the wealth of support available to us.”

“Alphatudes” is one of those books you will want to sit and reflect upon again and again. It offers an important reminder to be thankful for all that comes our way. It would make a beautiful gift.

This Lent, my family is embarking on a different type of sacrifice. I had heard of the 40 bags in 40 days challenge last year, but quickly dismissed it. In fact, I read about it again this year on Fat Tuesday and dismissed it again. Anyway who knows me or has visited my house knows that housekeeping is not my strong point. Neither is neatness. I had the desk in elementary school that was overflowing with papers. My locker in high school was a health hazard. I once had to explain to a boss that even though my desk looked like a tornado hit it, I knew where everything was and did, in fact, have every task under control. Anyone else see a theme here? My house is much the same. It’s not that I don’t like neat places. In fact, when I go to clean, neat houses, I feel a small pang of jealousy. Truly, though, I don’t know how to live that way. I need visual reminders of what I need to do. If it is out of my sight, it is truly out of my mind. My husband and two children are much the same. We all have the messy gene. Therefore, we coexist rather peacefully. However, the simple truth is that we have too much stuff and some of it needs to go.

The point of 40 bags in 40 days is to get rid of 40 bags of stuff out of your house during Lent. Of course, donated items count as well. As I was looking around my house on Ash Wednesday, I had the sudden feeling that this was something I desperately needed to do. I grabbed a couple of trash bags and explained the concept to my children. I expected a great deal of resistance, especially from my older son who likes to keep everything that crosses his path. Amazingly, they got into the project. That first day, we cleared two bags of items out of their playroom. I was so excited! The project was off to a great start. The next day, I started tackling the kitchen, and my husband started on our bedroom closet (despite the fact that he hates disposing of items as well).

The beauty of doing one bag a day is that it is doable. One of the things that paralyzes me when facing the clutter is that there is so much of it. I can’t do it all at one time, not even one room. Yet, I can do one bag. When I have filled up one bag, I feel like I have accomplished my goal for the day. I cross it off on my things to do list and up the total of bags completed.

Truly, I don’t know if we will be able to fill 40 bags or not. As of this writing, we are at seven. Still, I am excited and happy with the progress so far. Admittedly, most of the items cleaned out so far have been in cabinets and closets. Looking around my house, no one would see much of a difference. Still, I know that it is getting done. I’m giving away as much as I can so that I am helping others as well as cleaning my home.

Lent calls us to strip away all that is keeping us from God. Too much stuff can definitely be part of the problem. Lent is a good time to physically remove some of the things that we don’t need anymore. I’m embracing this Lenten project with enthusiasm and wonder where removing 40 bags of excess will leave me. Like so many other things in my life, it is a work in progress.

The Spirituality of Fasting: Rediscovering a Christian Practice
by Charles M. Murphy
Notre Dame: Ave Maria Press, 2010

Back in 1966, Pope Paul VI issued the apostolic constitution on fast and abstinence, Poenitemini. The intent was “to rescue fasting from the legalism and minimalism into which it had fallen.” The goal was not to remove fasting and penance and sacrifice from Catholic life, but rather to make it a personal choice rather than a command issued from above. Unfortunately, many Catholics took this to mean that these practices simply weren’t necessary anymore. Nothing could be further from the truth. We are still called today to fast. Msgr. Charles M. Murphy has written “The Spirituality of Fasting” in order to renew “the practice of fast and abstinence based upon a deeper understanding of its role in our religious life.”

In this relatively brief book (105 pages), Murphy explores the many reasons why fasting is important: it integrates prayer as being both of body and spirit, it is part of a long-standing tradition of Jewish and Christian practice, it helps to heal our relationship with God, and it helps us stand in solidarity with the poor and hungry. Overall his discussion of these points is extremely well-done. Based firmly in the witness of the Bible and pillars of the Christian faith, his argument that fasting is important and necessary is a strong one.

This being said, I offer one minor criticism. Murphy offers the example of Simone Weil in his chapter on standing in solidarity with others. He writes: “Simone Weil died on September 3, 1943, in exile from France in England, at the age of thirty-four, having starved herself to death. Suffering from tuberculosis, she refused in solidarity with her countrymen in Nazi-occupied France, to eat more than they were able to eat. She stands as a witness to social justice and to the significance and hazards of religious fasting.” That word “hazards” indicates that Murphy did realize that Weil went too far. However, in the following paragraphs he really does hold her up as a role model. I respectfully disagree. Fasting to the detriment of one’s body is not in keeping with the respect God wants us to have for our bodies.

Thankfully, in the chapter which offers practical ways to incorporate fasting into one’s life, he advocates a much more healthy take on fasting. Following in the footsteps of St. Francis de Sales, he writes: “Your work and state in life are primary; fasting should not impede your ability to perform your duties , or endanger your health.” I like that, unlike some other books on fasting that I have read, he acknowledges the worth of a partial fast – of simply giving up one meal, or cutting back on what one eats. He also agrees there is much to be said for other types of fasting and sacrifice, such as fast from media, or talking unnecessarily.

Murphy also makes the important fact that fasting is not a negative activity – it is a life-giving one. In truth, it enables us to feast. Just as one cannot appreciate light without the darkness, one can not truly appreciate feasting until one has experienced some lack. “We fast not just for fasting’s sake, but to be able to feast, to live in the present with great pleasure and a joy that lasts.”

“The Spirituality of Fasting” does much to encourage readers to make the practice of fasting part of their lives. It is good reading for Lent or for any time of the year!

“Anyone who wants to save his life will lose it; but anyone who loses his life for my sake, will save it. What benefit is it to anyone to win the whole world and forfeit or lose his very self?” – Luke 9: 24-25

The Gospels are full of messages that contradict what the world at large tells us to do. These words of Jesus from the Gospel of Luke are no exception. We live in a society that values fame above everything else. Everyone needs to market themselves. We need to create a brand and have a platform. One’s talents must constantly be put on display. One must have as many contacts as possible through as many venues as possible. It is necessary for career and life success. There are always new opportunities for self-promotion to pursue.

It may be necessary in today’s world, but in light of this Gospel reading, it gives me pause. At what cost do we seek to “gain the whole world?” Do we lose ourselves, our true selves, in the process? At what point do we lose sight of what really matters? It is a difficult question.

Jesus’ whole message focused on love – love of God and love of others. It is all about what we can do for the other people in our lives, not what the world can do for us. It is about giving rather than taking, shedding light on others rather than seeking the spotlight for ourselves. For many of us, careers are important. The work we do matters. Being successful in them enables us to provide for our families and contribute to society. Therefore, self-promotion becomes part of the package.

Perhaps the key to whether we are losing ourselves in the process lies in the intent. Do we seek fame and attention for its own sake or as a means to achieve something of more lasting value? Is it a way to stroke our own ego and say “aren’t I wonderful?” or is it a way to get out a message and serve others in the process. That line can be a fine one. We are all human and our egos speak loudly. Most of us want to be noticed and appreciated for our gifts. Perhaps our motives aren’t always pure, but we can work on them. We can strive to put the attention on, and give the credit to, God who gave us our gifts. We can make an effort to always put others first.

The praise and attention we get on this earth is transitory. Think of those who gain the highest levels of fame in our society. Do we remember the majority of these people even five years after they have had their names plastered on television and on the cover of magazines? That type of notoriety is short-lived. Even lasting recognition matters little once one leaves this world. When we die, God will not ask us how many headlines featured our names, or how many contacts we had on social networking sites. He will ask us how well we loved and served the human beings we walked through life with. That is the ultimate task and the one we must focus on. It is only in giving up our own life for God and for others that our own lives will matter.

The Country House Courtship
by Linore Rose Burkard
Eugene, OR: Harvest House Publishers

“The Country House Courtship” by Linore Rose Buckard is billed as an “Inspirational Romance for the Jane Austen Soul.” That is a high standard to aspire to, but this book lives up to it! This is the third book in a series focusing on the Forsythe family, living in Middlesex, England in the early 1800s. I haven’t read the first two books, but was quickly engrossed in this tale which focuses on the younger Forsythe sister, Beatrice. She is a young woman eager to experience a London season and hopes of making a wealthy match. Mr. Tristan Barton seems to offer all that she wants, but when a country clergyman begins to capture her heart and she is forced to face her sister’s life-threatening illness, she must make difficult decisions about what matters most to her.

“The Country House Courtship” will appeal to all those who enjoy romantic stories of status and manners. It is an extremely delightful read!

I think that one of the hardest things about being a Mom is the realization that I am no longer only responsible for my own soul. I am also accountable for my children’s souls as well. I have to teach them right from wrong and how to make good decisions. I need to teach them how to pray and how to lean on God always. I must show them what is important in life. I also need to help them know what to do when they make a mistake.

My sons are young (nearly nine and seven), but are growing up quickly. These are their prime formative years. They are like little sponges, absorbing everything they are exposed to. They are very concerned with what is good and bad, and what is “medium” – their term for something moral-neutral. They both have made their 1st confessions and now attend that sacrament on a regular basis. They are concerned about sin and doing what is right. I never thought that I would be called upon to make a moral determination about almost every action they make throughout the course of a day. Some days, it is truly exhausting. Yet, I realize the importance of it. If they are going to have a well-formed conscience, it is up to me to help make it that way.

One of my friends commented recently that the only thing she got from attending Catholic school was a conscience. I told her that wasn’t a bad thing to get. Yes, sometimes having a highly-formed conscience can seem like a burden. Wouldn’t doing what we want without those feelings of guilt make life so much easier? It seems like that is how most of the world operates. Aren’t they the ones who are truly free, the ones who get to enjoy life? No, it only seems that way. It is evil’s illusion.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church states that “The education of the conscience is a lifelong task. From the earliest years, it awakens the child to the knowledge and practice of the interior law recognized by conscience. Prudent education teaches virtue; it prevents or cures fear, selfishness and pride, resentment arising from guilt, and feelings of complacency, born of human weakness and faults. The education of the conscience guarantees freedom and engenders peace of heart.” (CCC 1784) We will be happier in the long run if we both learn and do what is right. The choices aren’t always easy. The guilt when we act in error can be huge and long-lasting. Yet, it is much better than the alternative – living without a moral compass.

How, then, is a good conscience formed? Divine law must always be the first consideration. What do the Ten Commandments dictate? They are our guidelines for living in right relationship with God and neighbor. Sometimes there are situations where the decisions are not easy, but a person “must always seriously seek what is right and good and discern the will of God expressed in divine law.” (CCC 1787) One may need to seek the “advice of competent people, and the help of the Holy Spirit and his gifts.” (CCC 1788) The Catechism also offers three rules that must be followed in all cases: “One may never do evil so that good may result from it; the Golden Rule: ‘Whatever you wish that men would do to you, do so to them;’ and ‘charity always proceeds by way of respect for one’s neighbor and his conscience.’” (CCC 1789)

Forming conscience is a long-term project. My children will not know what to do in every case by the age of ten, or fifteen, or even twenty. Yet, I must do my best to give them the tools to make the best decisions they can in light of God’s direction. It is the same thing I strive to do in my own life (while acknowledging that I sometimes fail). It is an awesome task, but one that every Catholic parent must take on.

The Handbook for Catholic Moms: Nurturing Your Heart, Mind, Body, and Soul
by Lisa M. Hendey
Notre Dame, IN: Ave Maria Press, 2010

Reading The Handbook for Catholic Moms: Nurturing Your Heart, Mind, Body, and Soul is like having a warm and inviting conversation with a group of your closest Mom friends. Lisa Hendey, founder of CatholicMom.com, shares her own wisdom garnered from 18 years of parenting, as well as the collected wisdom of the Catholic Mom community.

Divided into four sections, Heart, Mind, Body, and Soul, Hendey explores all aspects of a mother’s life. Heart focuses on “developing nurturing relationships with our family, our friends, and ourselves.” Mind centers on “becoming life-long learners, seeking creative outlets, exploring career and work issues, and employing time management and personal productivity tactics. Body stresses “nutrition, fitness, sleep, stress reduction, and preventative care matters.” Soul spotlights “coming to know and love the many resources, devotions, and concepts in the fullness of the Catholic Church that can help us care for ourselves and for the most important people in our lives.”

“The Handbook for Catholic Moms” offers concrete advice on all of these topics. The suggestions are based on real-life experiences. For each topic, Hendey offers personal stories and counsel from other Catholic moms (I was honored to be among those invited to offer a reflection). Each chapter features “Mom’s Homework” which includes suggestions on action steps one can take to work on the issue under discussion. There are also web resources for further information.

“The Handbook for Catholic Moms” is the perfect resource for moms at all stages of their parenting journey. You will find yourself nodding in agreement, laughing at some of the stories and tearing up at others. You will gain important kernels of knowledge you can put to use. Most importantly, you will feel encouraged in your vocation as a Catholic mother.